The Secret Language of Relationships (this has nothing to do with relocation)

In 1997, Gary Goldschneider and Joost Elffers published a landmark book called “The Secret Language of Relationships. Elffers’ role was to illustrate the book — quite a feat, as I’ll explain — and produce the book. (Elffers also produced the trilogy, The 48 Laws of Power, the 33 Principles of War, and The Art of Seduction — all also very important books which came out over the following few years). Goldschneider did 40 years of biological research for the Secret Language series, which might be an even bigger feat.

Yes, I said, Secret Language series. There are several books in the series; the first two — Relationships, and Birthdays, came out around the same time. And let me tell you that there are world-renowned astrologers (who shall not be named) who are so narrowly focused on their own work that they have never even heard of these books!

That’s too bad, as in my view it’s important to draw one’s experience using a broad variety of sources. It’s the only way I can do things, really.

I want to focus on the Secret Language of Relationships, primarily. That book divides the zodiac up into 48 periods instead of 12. You have Pisces-Aries cusp, Aries I, Aries II, Aries III, Aries-Taurus cusp, Taurus I, Taurus II, Taurus III, Taurus-Gemini cusp, Gemini I … (and so on, all the way to where it finishes at Pisces III).

It gives a four-page spread for each of the 48 periods. The spread goes into what these archetypes are and what part of the cycle of life the archetypes derive from. For example, my own period is Sagittarius II, the Week of the Originator (covering December 3-10) and my own essence draws from rather late in the cycle, or that of a 60-year old. Somebody born on March 25 (Aries I), has rather the essence drawing from that of a 1 or 2 year old. That doesn’t mean they act as such, it’s just a point of identification — drawing from an archetype.

Strengths and weaknesses are also discussed for each period. The Sagittarius II period is Unusual/Ardent/Talented, as well as Peculiar/Irresponsible/Rejected. (In my defense, I have a Capricorn moon, which is supposed to make me more responsible. We would think so, anyway.)

Once the 48 periods have been identified and discussed, which takes up about the first 20% of the book, Relationships then does every single combination — every period’s relationship with every other period. That’s 482 divided by two, or 1152. (An Aries I/Sagittarius II is the same as a Sagittarius II/Aries I, which is why it’s divided by two).

It does a half page spread on each of these matchups, again discussing strengths and weaknesses and which type of relationships are better or worse for such combination — Marriage, Love, Friendship, Family, or Work are the typical areas discussed, although they might also go into Business Partnership, or Sibling, or Acquaintance, etc. This takes up the next 576 pages of the book. (It’s a big book!)

You can see why Goldschneider had to do 40 years of biographical research to get this book done. The commitment of some of these astrologers is remarkable.

To illustrate that, I’m going to read from a random combination. I seem to have settled on Aries III/Cancer-Leo cusp. (Aries III is “The Week of the Pioneer”, April 11-18, Cancer-Leo cusp is “The Cusp of Oscillation,” July 19-25). It’s entitled “A Peak Experience” and it’s on page 291.

“Dominated by the fiery aspects of both its partners, this relationship is striking for its intensity of feeling, sexuality or simply energy. Love between these two can be ardent and romantic, featuring trips to unusual places, physically challenging and dangerous endeavors, sexual or druglike highs and revelations abounding. Should such peak experiences or epiphanies materialize on just a few occasions, they may be enough to ensure the relationship’s continuance. Should they be constantly sought for, however, they can grow addictive, the pure love once felt becoming muddled and dangerously unrealistic. A potentially painful and destructive separation may be necessary. To avoid this, Aries III’s need to keep their self-sacrificial streak from getting out of control, and Cancer-Leos to beware of getting lost in possessiveness or overly needy demands.

“Both Aries III’s and Cancer-Leos are dauntless and courageous, making them good companions in challenging adventures and also protective parents and friends. Aries III’s, however, generally have a high energy level, particularly when engaged in a project, while Cancer-Leos are prone to great fluctuations of energy and mood. If a Cancer-Leo goes into a depressive phase, this can create conflicts with an Aries III, who won’t like hearing complaints and is likely to be worn down by excessive negativity. Should a Cancer-Leo fall into a downward spiral in the middle of a joint endeavor, an Aries III will likely grow impatient and frustrated, and may want to discontinue this working relationship. Aries III’s who are married to Cancer-Leos tend to be more understanding of their moods, but even a deep love can be eroded away over time.

“Cancer-Leo children are apt to find Aries III parents less than sympathetic to their emotional state. The Aries III will listen to, think about and discuss their problems, but may never really empathize. As a result, Cancer-Leo offspring often feel misunderstood by what they perceive as a godlike Aries III parent.

“Advice: Go with the flow. Life has its ups and downs. Cultivate patience and understanding. Strive for empathy. Put matters of the heart first.

“Strengths: Arden, Romantic, Revelatory.

“Weaknesses: Impatient, Moody, Addictive.

“Best: Companionship. Worst: Work.”

What they’ve written here is just one combination. Goldschneider does this for every single one of the other 1151 combinations. Again, 40 years of biographical research.

Many prospective astrologers think that they have to reinvent the wheel and come up with their own original system. OR, said astrologers have to train with another world-renowned astrologer exclusively and learn verbatim the conclusions they’ve made. I don’t subscribe to either of these notions. I, personally, would find it very difficult to tether myself to another astrologer, and my powers of observation are not so keen that I see things on my own, per se.

I think it is good to stand on the shoulders of giants but, if you have the ability to discriminate among different potential truths, picking and choosing among the best systems is important. No world-renowned astrologer is always right. (Nobody is always right — don’t forget that). Experience, too, is important, and humility in the face of experience is crucial.

This would be a helpful book for you, too — you, like anyone, want successful relationships. I’m now going to look at the Sagittarius II/Pisces I, as I believe this is my next prospect…. 😉

By David Muir

David Muir recieved his PAC as a 2020 graduate of the Avalon School in Vibrational Astrology. He has been a practicing astrologer having studied astrology since 1997. He specializes in relocation astrology, particularly in terms of how both one's character and external influences change in a new location. He has interests in compatibility, and just generally “getting the necessary information out there for you,” which can entail personology as well as different interpretations in general. David writes a 2x/weekly blog in both relocation astrology and other astrological topics of interest, on

David received a BA from Carlow University in 2011 with concentrations in philosophy, writing, and political science. He does a 2x/month radio show and has lived in Denver, CO since 2016.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s